True Story

I like dogs and sometimes cats. I dislike birds. And I had a very trying experience once when I was left alone with a rabbit. It was my friend's rabbit. Not one of those fluffy white ones, but a spotty looking, evil one. When no one else was looking he would transform his ears into horns and his buck teeth would turn to fangs and he'd scare the shit out of me. He only did it to me. He mustn't have liked me. And I was staying with my friend at the time. The first time he had to leave I asked him not to go. But he said he wouldn't be long. I asked him if I could put the rabbit in the cage, but he didn't have a cage for it yet. Just got it. So that was that and off he went. Me and the rabbit stared across the room at each other for what seemed like ages. And his quivering started to rub off on me. I lost control of my facial muscles there for a short time. But I looked into his eyes long enough to guess his intentions. I began grabbing furniture and appliances and sealed the rabbit in the bedroom. It took about half an hour to plug all the holes. I heaved a sigh of relief. Then a sound broke through the barrier. A horrible sound. The sound of carpet munching. Folks, you've never heard anything like this. It is utterly terrifying. It sounds like ants or something. Thank goodness my friend got back before I had a heart attack. He took a look around and seemed bewildered by the state of the apartment. But I then explained it to him.
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© 2010. Scripts by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved.